Beneath The Skin
by KuroTenshi616
Summary: once a oneshot called Surrender, now a collection of oneshots. more angst, fluff, blood, and craziness is on the way! enjoy!
1. Surrender

Summary- One-sided Karasu/Kurama yaoi. Usual Karasu obsessed with Kurama and tries to capture/kill him. Set to "Surrender" by Evanescence.

:_Is this real enough for you?_

_You were so confused_:

"It's not real Karasu!" he screams, fighting the chains that hold him fast to the stone walls. His vivid emerald eyes are wide with pain and desperation. His rose red hair is matted with dried blood, a stark contrast to his beautiful ivory face. "Don't you get it? I. DON'T. LOVE. YOU. I never have!" he cries.

"Oh but my dear Kurama, you do. It is real, it's very real. You're here with me, and you're mine," I walk up to him and caress his smooth face with my ghostly hand. He flinches away, and I can't help but smile. I would never do anything to mar this gorgeous face. "No one will ever take you from me again. I've dealt with the three-eyed rodent, now there is no one left to befuddle your senses. You will stay with me."

He freezes when I mention the three-eyed rodent. "Hiei," he whispers, his eyes growing wider. "What have you done with Hiei!" he cries, lunging towards me. The chains restrain him. His wild struggles kindle my already burning desire for him, my little fox-demon.

"Rest assured, he'll never take you from me again," I murmur into his ear. He tries to bite my neck, I turn and capture his mouth with mine. He jerks away, the only place her can go is to the wall. I pin him there and run my hands over his trembling body. He tries to push me off, I pin his hands and thrust my tongue into his mouth before pulling away, savoring the taste of his lips. He glares at me with frigid eyes, the emerald flashes to icy gold, and I smile. The Yoko could tear me apart if he weren't chained. Oh to break this raging spirit–!

_:Now that you've decided to stay_

_we'll remain together:_

I leave him that night, trembling and exhausted from his attempts at fending me off and trying to break free. If only he knew that his struggles only made me want him even more. But now he truly is mine, with the Tantei and his mortal mother dead, there's no one left for him to live for. Except me. He's mine now, that little fire demon had him for a time. But he's no longer a problem.

I return the next night to see my Kurama hanging limp from the shackles that keep him tethered in an upright position at the wall. He looks up as I enter and those emerald eyes are filled with loathing. I smile. "Hate me all you want," I say, cupping his face in my hands. "You're still mine."

_:You can't abandon me_

_You belong to me:_

I release his face and snap my fingers. The shackles around his wrists fall open to clank against the stone. He darts forward, hand flying to the arsenal of seeds concealed in his hair. I grab his wrists and sling him to the floor like a ragdoll. He kicks out and misses. Despite his struggles, I pin him to the floor and straddle his waist, pinning his arms to his sides with my knees. He thrashes about in a futile attempt to break free. It amuses me all the more. I tear away what was left of his shirt and watch his bare chest glisten with sweat as he tries to break free. I slide my hands up his chest, he halts in his struggles, knowing full well what my touch could do to his lovely flesh. I lean down and pull his face up to mine and press our lips together. I thrust my tongue into him, forcing open his mouth. I breath into him, he gasps and strains against my hold. I finally pull away, leaving him panting from lack of air.

I slide my hand into my coat. I pull out a long dagger, the leather sheath engraved with swirling marks that I have long since given up deciphering. I cast away the sheathand raise the blade so the glinting metal flashes in the dim light of the dungeon. Kurama eyes it and me warily. I grin and lick the blade. "You will never leave me." I slice open my wrist and toss the knife away. As my blood pours over his chest, I grab his face with my free hand and force his jaws apart. I press my bleeding wrist against his lips and cover his nose with the other hand, forcing him to swallow. I throw my head back and moan in pleasure. It was almost too much for me to bear.

I pull my wrist away and stare down at his pale face, soaked in my blood. He is wide-eyed with disgusted horror. I snatch the dagger from the floor beside us and knick the artery in his throat. As blood spills out, I lean forward and press my lips over the woundsuckling like an infant. I drink up the sweet crimson nectar and savor the taste as a wine taster savors a good vintage. I reluctantly pull away and press my still bleeding wrist to my Kurama's bleeding throat. The blood mixes and pools together on the floor.

Even if my beloved never succombs to me, we will always be one.

_:Breath it in take my life in you_

_No longer myself only you_

_There's no escaping me my love_

_Surrender:_

I was so enraptured by the process, that I failed to notice Kurama's arm sliding out from under my leg. By the time I saw the flash of his pale skin, it was too late. "Rose Whip!" The thorny whip narrowly missed my face as I jumped back.

Kurama leapt to his feet and snatched a tiny seed from his hair. Roots sprouted from it as he hurled it at me. The seed erupted into a sea of thorny vines, twining around me. My Kurama didn't stop to look at his handiwork, he sprinted for the door and vanished into the corridor. I laughed.

"There's no escape, Kurama!" I shout, as my bombs decimate his little plant. "This castle has no exit!" I call, even though I know he can't hear me, he's out of hearing range by now. Unless his bleeding has slowed him down more than I thought.

_:Darling, there's no sense in running_

_You know I will find you:_

I wander lazily out of the dungeon, now occupied by burnt bits of plant, and spread out my awareness. There's my little fox, trying to escape through the kitchens. When I say there's no escape, I mean it literally. This castle has no doors or windows. Only stone walls reinforced by my yoki. I'm the only one who can get in or out.

I saunter up to the kitchens, long since deserted and covered in dust. My Kurama's wound has left blood droplets on the floors, a palpable trail to his location. I approach silently, though he already knows I'm there. He turns, pale and bleeding but ready to fight. I just smile. Before he even realizes what's happened, I am on him. Pinning his body to the wall, his wrists held tightly in my hands.

"Now you can never be rid of me," I croon into his ear. I feel his body shiver against mine. I mash my lips against his, hard enough to make his head crack against the wall behind him. He flinches and clenches his eyes shut.

Blood loss, combined with the concussion from the stone wall and lack of air from my kiss send him into unconciousness. My Kurama falls limp in my arms. I kneel down and pull his limp body close to mine, cradling him to my chest with one arm while the other caresses every bare patch of skin I can see. His face, his chest, his arms, his throat. I allow my hand to drift wistfully over his hips, I'd prefer he was concious for that sort of intimacy, I am patient, I will wait until his is ready to submit to me before taking him.

With his body pressed close to mine, I can feel that my goal is almost within reach. He is mine in body, he carries my breath and blood within him. But his soul and heart are what I truly yearn for. The seduction of my fox is well underway.

_:Everything is perfect now_

_We can live forever:_

"KURAMA!"

My head snaps up in shock. How can this be? I killed him! I saw his corpse amidst the rubble! How is it that he could possibly even be inside my castle? I clutch my fox closer. "He's not taking you away from me again," I hiss.

His emerald eyes flutter open. "Hiei–?" he murmurs.

"No!" I cry. Just as the fire demon appears in the doorway. His third eye is open and shining. The Black Dragon is exposed on his arm, his crimson eyes narrow in fury.

"Let go of him you sick sonuvabitch!" he snarls.

"Hiei!" my fox calls, struggling to escape my grasp. I clutch him tighter.

"He's mine!" I shout. I flick my wrist and bombs flash through the air towards the fire demon.

_:You can't abandon me_

_You belong to me:_

"NO! Hiei!" he cries. The bombs explode, filling the air with smoke and fire. I grin, I can no longer sense the fire demon's yoki. I turn back to my fox, knowing that no one can ever take him from me, ever. He shoves me away and attempts to crawl to his feet, only to fall in a heap on the stones. I tower over him, grinning. I bend to take his arm.

"No one left to stand between us," I say. There is a sharp pain in my back. I look down at my chest in time to see the end of the katana emerge from my gut. I choke and blood smears my lips. The blade is wrenched from my body and I fall to my knees, hacking up blood.

I stare up at the fire demon, then at my Kurama.

_:Breath it in take my life in you_

_No longer myself only you_

_There's no escaping me my love_

_Surrender:_

I let out a gargled laugh. "You're still mine in body, my little fox. Even in death my blood will flow in your veins and my breath with come from your lungs! You'll never be rid of me! You're mine! MINE!"

The fire demon raises his katana and swings it down.

Karasu's head tumbled away as his body fell forward. Blood spouted from the severed neck and covered the dusty floor.

Hiei wiped the blade of his katana clean on Karasu's coat and turned to Kurama. He knelt beside the fox demon and moved to place his hand on his shoulder. Kurama jerked away. "Don't touch me," he whispered harshly. Kurama wrapped his arms protectivley around himself and stared with dead eyes at the headless corpse.

Hiei grabbed Kurama by the shoudlers and forced the kitsune to meet his eyes. "Kurama, love, what did he do to you?" he demanded. His crimson eyes were wide with fear as he stared into Kurama's emerald orbs.

Kurama shivered. "Take me home, Hiei. Please. I can't...not here..." he pressed his face to Hiei's chest and wrapped his arms around the smaller demon's strong body. Taking comfort in the warm strength flowing from his lover.

Hiei nodded wordlessly and helped Kurama to his feet. They staggered through the corridors, Kurama leaning heavily against Hiei.

"How did you get in?" he asked quietly.

"His concentration of Yoki on the barrier wavered and I used the Dragon to break through the stone," Hiei replied, as the rounded a corner into the rubble strewn corridor with a gaping hole into the outside in one wall.

The sunlight was shining through the opening and together the two demons stepped out into the afternoon air.

I hovered overhead, an immaterial spirit watching my fox and the fire demon exit my lair. I moved to follow them into the light, only to be repelled back into the castle corridor. I grinned to myself. It didn't matter if my spirit was bound here, he was still mine. He always would be mine. We are one now. My Kurama, my beloved. You can never be rid of me. One day, I will come back for you. And your heart and soul, as well as your body, will belong to me. When that happens, you WILL submit to me, you will bow to me as your one master and lover.

_Breath it in take my life in you_

_No longer myself only you_

_There's no escaping me my love_

_Surrender_

_Surrender_

_Surrender_

_Surrender_


	2. Jealousy

Okay, I changed my mind, now this is going to be a collection of YYH one-shots. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! These fics will contain yaoi, yuri, suicide, fluff, comedy, probably everything there is. One particular OC will be making appearances, just so we're clear, Mahiru is MINE. Okay, moving on...

Disclaimer- If I owned YYH I wouldn't be writing this.

CHAPTER 2

First Love's Jealousy

Summary- Hiei/Kurama yaoi. Set just before they steal the Three Artifacts from Reikai. Kinda the first hints at their relationship getting deeper than shown in the anime/manga.

The autumn night was peaceful. Only a few clouds shone silver in the moonlight, highlighted against a blue-black sky. The stars were faint and few as the combined lights of the full moon and city blotted them out. A faint wind rustled the leaves scattered on the suburban streets. A black shadow flitted over the roof tops and lighted on a bare tree branch on a knarled tree growing beside a small house that looked like any other house on the block, except for the well kept garden.

The shadow positioned himself on a branch where he could see into the lighted bedroom, but the room's occupants could not see him. The light from the window illuminated a pair of slanted crimson eyes set in a pale face. A white head band crossed his forehead and wild black hair with blue and white highlights stuck up in every direction.

Hiei settled onto the branch and focused on the bedroom. The room was mid-sized, with a low bed pushed against the wall just under the window. A low table that served as a desk sat in the middle of the floor with four cushions pushed underneath. A full bookshelf was perpendicular to the bed, and a bureau was pushed beside the closed door that lead to the rest of the house.

Hiei turned his attention to the occupants. One was a teenaged girl. She looked to be around fifteen years old with long dark brown hair held back from her pointed face by a black scarf. Her tawny gold eyes were as angular as her face. She wore a pair of plain blue jeans and a loose black tank top, exposing muscular bare arms. She sat cross-legged on the edge of the bed with a mirror beside her. The second occupant sat on the floor infront of her, facing the door. Hiei didn't have to see his face to know what he looked like, the brilliant emerald eyes and beautiful face framed by silky rose-red hair continued to haunt his dreams. The girl's nimble fingers twined through Kurama's hair, braiding the silky locks together.

Edging closer, Hiei could hear their conversation.

"Mahiru, what in the world are you doing to my hair?" Kurama demanded, his voice was lined by laughter and mock irritation.

"Would you chill? You'll find out when I'm done," the girl, Mahiru, replied. Hiei could hear the grin in her voice.

She wrapped a hair-tie around the end of the braid. "Okay, now you can look." She passed the mirror to Kurama. He turned his head to watch the mirror out of the corner of his eye and studied the resulting braid.

"No offense, but I think I prefer it down," Kurama said drily. Mahiru smiled and plucked the mirror out of his hands. "I'd have to agree. It's way too weird seeing you with your hair up." She pulled out the hair-tie and un-did the braid.

Hiei's grip tightened on the branch, splintering the wood as he watched the scarlet hair slide through her fingers. 'What does that feel like?' he wondered, raising a hand to his rigid black hair. Hiei allowed himself the tiniest fantasy of Kurama's slender fingers running through his hair then surpressed it as simply that, a fantasy. Hiei was the Imiko of the Floating City of the Koorime. Banished for merely being born, to horrible to live with. How could the famed Yoko Kurama stand to be anywhere near him?

"Are you done petting my hair yet?" Kurama's voice demanded wryly. A blush rose to Mahiru's face and she sat on her hands.

"I have no idea what you're talking about! I have done no such thing!" she exclaimed in pseudo-indignation. Kurama turned to face her from his spot on the floor, smiling.

"Of course you didn't, you were just combing out non-existent tangles with your fingers," he replied sarcastically.

"Exactly!" she exclaimed, grinning.

'Yoko Kurama, joking with a ningen female. Over his _hair_ of all things,' Hiei thought, in wonder. Why is it that a mere human was closer to Kurama than he was? What made her so special that Kurama had refused to break this "date" with her to steal the Three Treasures of the Reikai? Goki could mutter all he wanted about Kurama going soft in Ningenkai, Hiei had seen Kurama fight. He was anything but soft in battle.

"Have you heard anything about 'baasan?" Mahiru asked, her voice had turned serious. A shadow darkened Kurama's eyes.

"Hai, she's getting worse. The doctors are pessimistic about her chances," Kurama's fluid voice was grave and harsh with worry.

Hiei's gut tightened. Of course, how could he forget? Kurama's ningen mother, Minamino Shiori, was in sick in the hospital. What gave this girl the right to refer to Kurama's ningen mother as an aunt? They certainly weren't related. Hiei scowled. 'Maybe Goki was right, maybe Kurama has gotten soft, worrying about a stupid human.'

Mahiru slid to the floor and placed one arm around Kurama's shoulders, and the other hand clasped his hands. "She's going to be fine," she murmured to him. Kurama's head was hung forward, hiding his face from view. "No matter what happens, she'll be okay."

Kurama looked up. His eyes were harsh jade stones, frigid with determination. "She will be healthy again," he said. It was unclear if the statement was a promise to no one or just an agreement with what Mahiru had said. His eyes shifted to soft mossy green once more and he joined his hand with Mahiru's, twining their fingers together.

Hiei surpressed the surge of jealousy and scolded himself. 'What do I care if he has feelings for some baka ningens? As long as we get the job done, it's none of my buisness,' he thought furiously. 'Baka, feelings like that are just a weakness that will get you killed someday.' Any emotion during a battle became a distraction. Especially when those emotions involved fear for someone else's life. What good came from being so concerned with someone else's well being that one forgot to focus on their own battle and died themselves. Hiei stood, swearing silently to himself.

'Why did I even come here tonight? To spy? What do I care if he mates with this girl or not? It's not any of my concern. It's not like he means anything to me beyond a partner,' he told himself. 'Baka, you're getting distracted.' Hiei vanished into the night.

Hiei waited outside the school. Anticipation caused one or two butterflies to flutter around his stomach. A few more hours and the three treasures would be within his reach. The school bell chimed and a flood of teenaged ningens exited the building, all wearing the same fuschia uniform. The crowd dwindled and Hiei slipped into the gates to the school and leaned against the wall to wait.

The front doors to the school opened and Kurama emerged. Hiei's pulse quickened. It should be illegal for anyone to look so beautiful. Kurama's hair flashed and shifted in the dying sunlight and his moss green eyes brightened when they settled on the short black-clad demon leaning against the wall. As much as he hated to admit it, the fuschia uniform looked good on Kurama, the fabric clung just enough to show the lean figure under the cloth.

Behind Kurama was the same girl from the night before, Mahiru. Hiei's eyes darkened, he hadn't been able to see Kurama alone for sometime, now this baka ningen was stealing the few precious moments they had together. He straightened from the wall and cast a questioning look at Kurama as they approached.

She fell in step beside Kurama as he approached Hiei. Her eyes were bright with curiosity as she studied the small demon.

"Mahiru, this is Jaganshi Hiei. Hiei-kun, Hikaru Mahiru," Kurama introduced.

Mahiru bowed politely, Hiei inclined his head in acknowledgement. "It's an honor to meet you, Jaganshi-san," she said solemnly.

"Hn."

She grinned. "Not much of a talker, are you? Shuichi said you weren't very social."

'Shuichi–? Oh, of course, Kurama's ningen name. Minamino Shuichi.'

She glanced down at her watch. "Shimatta," she muttered. "Gomen ne, Shuichi, Jaganshi-san, I have to get going. I have to get to Drama Club before Yanagi-sensei get's pissy. Sayonara!" She turned towards the school and leaned towards Kurama. "Your boyfriend's cute," she whispered, just barely loud enought for Hiei to hear.

The fire youkai growled and went for his katana. Kurama's hand closed over Hiei's as Mahiru sprinted for the school and vanished into the building.

"She was kidding, Hiei," Kurama said. Hiei released his katana and the two demons started down the street to somewhere more isolated to meet Goki.

"Who was that?" Hiei demanded.

"Mahiru? She's been living next-door to us since I came to Ningenkai," Kurama replied. "My 'kaasan and her's are friends. As a result, we became friends."

"Friends?" Hiei snorted in derision. "Are you certain that's all it is?" his voice was gruff and demeaning, but secretly he hoped and was angry with himself for hoping.

"Quite certain. She's never thought of me as anything more than a brother," Kurama replied flatly. A smirk tugged at the corner of his soft mouth. "And if you're referring to last night, that was nothing more than friends hanging out as friends do in this world."

If Hiei didn't have complete control over his body, he would have been blushing. "How did you know I was there?" he demanded cooly.

"I always know when you're nearby."

Not knowing how to respond, Hiei remained silent.

Kurama sighed inwardly. 'Well, what did you expect? Hiei's not one to be blatant about his emotions. You should know that better than anyone,' he thought to himself. 'Though, there's still the question as to why he was at my house last night. What reason did he have for being there at all?'

"Why were you at my place anyway?" Kurama asked. A feral gleam shined in his eyes, barely noticeable throught the sunlight reflecting off his eyes.

Hiei shrugged. "Making sure you don't get so distracted by ningen foolishness that you would forget or screw up our mission today," was the curt reply.

'Oh no, that's not why you were there. We both know it,' the Yoko thought.

Yoko slipped a hand around Hiei's waist and pulled the unsuspecting fire youkai close to his side. Hiei tensed and his crimson eyes were wide in surprise. "Don't pretend you aren't caught up in Ningen emotions, Hiei. You've been in Ningenkai too long to be able to avoid them," he murmured. The Yoko's hand slid away from Hiei's waist with deliberate slowness.

The smaller demon jerked away. A tinge a of pink shaded his pale cheeks. "Don't be ridiculous, you think I would fall for such idiocy as ningen emotions? I have better things to do," his voice was steady and cold. If Kurama hadn't seen the blush, he might have almost believed Hiei's acting.

Hiei strode ahead of Kurama and took to the rooftops. The Yoko watched him, a sly smile curling over his face. 'You can't escape me that easily,' Yoko thought. 'You caught my attention, Kohi, and I know I have yours. You can't run from me forever.'

(_Kohi_- means 'little fire')


	3. Behind These Emerald Eyes

This is a songfic to Kelly Clarkson's "Behind These Hazel Eyes". Only I changed the chorus a little bit. Now it's "behind these emerald eyes". Guess who's POV it's from? Anyway, enjoy. There's gonna be a sort of sequel to this coming next, hopefully.

READ AND REVIEW!

Behind These Emerald Eyes, I'm Dying

It's ironic, isn't it? Just yesterday, no, just a few hours ago, you were here with me. Then, after you left, not even an hour had gone by, but I missed you already. Your temper, your curiosity, your pride, you always reminded me of a kitten. You even looked like one when you sleep. I can just imagine you glaring at me for that. I suddenly felt this pain in my chest, as though someone had dropped a boulder on my chest, then the phone rang, and Yusuke started babbling. All I could make out was 'Hiei' 'car' 'accident'.

I don't remember much after that. I might have answered. My mind froze and all I could think was "No, no, no, no, no." I thought that denying it could make the phone call a nightmare. But I knew it wasn't. How could I live without you? You were the reason that wanted to be strong, so I could protect you, keep myself alive to live for you. If you weren't there, how could I go on?

_Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me _

_I used to stand so tall, I used to be so strong _

I remember the first time we ever embraced each other, in your arms, I was safe. Like nothing could ever touch us when we were together. Wherever we were together, as long as I could hold you, nothing could be wrong. Our own portable Utopia. If I could just hear your voice, one last time, telling me everything would be fine, but I can't. Nothing will ever be fine again, because you aren't there to make it so.

"Shuichi?" 'kaasan is gently prying the phone from my hand. "Shuichi, what is it?" she asks.

I shake my head, stand, and walk out to the garden. If I tell her, hearing myself say it will only confirm the truth.

_Your arms around me tight, everything it felt so right _

_Unbreakable, like nothing could go wrong _

I try to breath in the soft scent of my roses to calm my nerves, breathing hurts my chest. Gasping, I sit amidst the roses and bury my face in my palms. I know that if I held a mirror, my gaze would freeze my blood in my veins. You pointed out once that when I get upset, I just go cold. My eyes are cold, but my body is consumed by agony. I'm not crying, though I should be. I want to. But Botan told me once that demons that die in Ningenkai usually hang around for a awhile, if you're here, I don't want you to see the pain I'm suffering. I want you to pass on thinking that I'll be fine, even though I won't be.

I go to bed without eating, lying on top of the sheets we shared only two hours before. Sleep won't be coming tonight. I lay here and reminisce about the hours we'd spend here, just holding eachother tightly. Then I remember that we'll never be able to do it again and I know that soon I'll loose it completely.

_Now I can't breathe, no I can't sleep_

_I'm barely hanging on _

It occurs to me that I've felt this pain once before. Back then, I had hoped never to feel it again. When Kuronue died, going back for that pendant. If only I'd never given it to him, he would still be alive now. If only. But if he had lived, I never would have met you. I never would have lost you to a car accident.

I still can't understand it. You were the fastest of all of us, how could you get hit by a car? Why didn't you dodge it? Even as my pain tears me apart inside, I'm angry with you. You were supposed to be the one who would stay with me forever. You were the one I would grow old with. You promised me, "I'm not going anywhere, fox." Your exact words.

You lied to me.

I'll never be able to lecture you about it either. You'll never know how torn I am, because you can't the tears I'll never allow myself to cry. The tears I refused to shed every time you came to me with a fresh injury from your patrols. If you had ever known, I'm certain you would have gone to Mukuro's doctors instead. I could never allow that, how could I know they would take care of you correctly? I'm rambling, thinking of things that feel like they occurred over a decade ago, when it was really only a few days ago that you came to me a gash on your arm and a broken rib.

_Here I am, once again _

_I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend _

_Just thought you were the one _

_Broken up, deep inside _

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry _

_Behind these emerald eyes _

You knew everything there was to know about me. I told you everything, my past, my present, my hopes of the future. Despite your cynical mask, you never once scoffed at me. Instead you returned the favor by sharing with me your past and present. Not even with Kuronue did I ever feel secure enough to confide my most secret desires. No one but you ever knew that I wanted a kit of my own. That I wanted that predominantly human luxury of a home in a rural area with the love of my life, you, and our child. You never responded to that.

I asked you what you hoped for for the future, one New Year's Eve when I invited you over to celebrate with me, with my mother and step-father away on a vacation. You answered "I don't have enough of a future to hope for anything." I tried to convince you otherwise. It worked, at least for that night.

Without you, I have no one left to be myself around. Everyone else sees me as the "intelligent one", the "reasonable one". I'm supposed to be the one everyone can count on. The one everyone can turn to when the world seems about ready to implode on itself. You were the one I went to. The one who held me up, along with the burdens heaped on to me by others. That's all that's left, the me I pretend to be. Without you to acknowledge the real me.

_I told you everything, opened up and let you in _

_You made me feel alright, for once in my life _

_Now all that's left of me is what I pretend to be _

At the funeral service, before your cremation, I sit with Yusuke and Kuwabara while everyone pays their respects. You should have seen it, Mukuro and her soldiers, Jin, Toya, Chu, Rinku, Suzuki, Shishiwakamaru, Hinageshi, even a few demons I didn't know, but recognized from the Makai Tournament. Along with the usual crowd. Yukina left a Hiruseki on your shrine.

I sat in silence, smiling and nodding polite thanks to everyone who spoke. Yusuke and even Kuwabara were near tears. Yukina's alot like you, you know. Perceptive. She was the only one who noticed my charade.

_So together, but so broken up inside _

After everyone left, I was alone with your little shrine and the mementos and offering left by all the friends you never knew you had. I asked Botan if you were still hanging about on Ningenkai in spirit form, she said no. But I don't doubt the possibility that you ordered her to say it, so as not to upset me. I knew she lied.

I told you once that I always know when you're near to me, it's true even now. I can feel your spirit beside me, watching me.

_Cause I can't breathe, no I can't sleep_

_I'm barely hanging on _

I refuse to cry infront of you. I want you to move on to the after life without worrying about me. I must not be thinking straight, you could read me like a book. I don't think that talent would change because you're dead.

"Dammit, Hiei," I blurt out. "Why the hell did you have to die on me?" I ask the incense-clouded air. "You promised me you'd stay with me. You swore I'd never have to suffer the same pain I went through with Kuronue while I was with you. You lied to me."

This pain is too much for me to bear. I have no one to help me carry it. All of our friends? They would never understand what we had. My mother knew about us, but how could she know what it's like to loose someone who owned your heart? I handed you my heart and then you crushed it, unintentionally, yes. But crushed it all the same.

_Here I am, once again _

_I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend _

_Just thought you were the one _

_Broken up, deep inside _

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry _

_Behind these emerald eyes _

You consumed me, made me a part of you. I would have followed you to hell and back again if you had asked it of me. We were nearly inseparable, until you died on me. You went where I couldn't follow. I know it wasn't your fault you died, but then it was. You abandoned me here in the living world and I hate you for it. I blame myself for letting you get close enough to hurt me like this. You promised me, I believed you. For the first time in centuries, I opened up completely. Then you betrayed me, and died.

_Swallow me, then spit me out _

_For hating you, I blame myself _

I know I shouldn't, the pain is already so hard to contain. But I have to see your face one last tiem before they cremate you. I open the wooden casket.

You didn't look asleep like they always say the dead seem. When you slept, you always curled up like a little kitten, your face was always serene, unless you had nightmares.Then your eyebrows would furrow and you'd start to twitch, fighting off invisible enemies. You don't look asleep. You look dead, your face is lacking in the soft light that always illuminated those crimson eyes. Your face is paler than usual, white like marble.

Seeing your body like this, the stiff and cold way your body lays there, it almost kills me right here. A tear escapes my notice and drips onto your inanimate face. Nothing happens, of course. And why should it? Crying never brought anyone back to life. My tears now, as always, are useless.

_Seeing you, it kills me now _

_No, I don't cry on the outside anymore _

_Anymore_

No one has ever touched me like you did. As Yoko Kurama, I wasn't affected byanything. I was untouchable, an unattainable idol to my followers. Kuronue scratched the surface of that shell that surrounded me for centuries. You shattered it completely. The pain I suffered from Kuronue's death was nothing compared to this. I've been shattered like a wine glass on the floor, shards too small and scattered to ever be put back together again. All because of you. This is the reason why both of us had shut ourselves off from the feelings and affections of others. We both let ourselves become involved in what you called "ningen foolishness", and this is the result: anguish.

_Here I am, once again _

_I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend _

_Just thought you were the one _

_Broken up, deep inside _

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry_

_Behind these emerald eyes _

_Here I am, once again _

_I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it, can't pretend _

_Just thought you were the one _

_Broken up, deep inside _

_But you won't get to see the tears I cry_

_Behind these emerald eyes_


End file.
